Are you struggling with something that happened in your past, even something recently that seems to be holding you back at this very moment? Do you have anxieties due to experiences in your past or feel ashamed? Please read on, this is life changing!
Let me start by saying this….Your past no longer exists except within your thoughts. Those are powerful words yet many of you reading this might say I am wrong. Maybe you would tell me that you are dealing with deep wounds from your past which cause you problems this very moment. Did you know the only way your past exist this very moment is within your thoughts? Sure, thoughts of your past affect you deeply however what happened in your past doesn’t actually affect you any longer because THAT situation no longer exists. What does exist is the story you tell yourself about THAT situation. The THOUGHT is what is affecting you NOW. This is a HUGE concept to wrap your head around yet SO POWERFUL. Imagine waking up tomorrow morning and not being able to remember anything from your past that hurt you. Meaning that if I asked about your past, it would have no influence on how you think. How would that feel like to you?
So, what you are left with is your personal story of your past. Interestingly enough, the story you give about a situation may be totally different that someone who was there with you. Their story would be different as thr perspective is different. This story is YOUR meaning of what happened to you. Again, your past no longer exists.
The feelings you have today, which you may label as an old wound is actually a CURRENT feeling. Remember, the past no longer exists. The only reason you have the feeling NOW is because you are “Thinking” about the past. You are creating that pain today that may be similar to the pain your felt in your past yet it is not the same pain as back then. It is a NEW PAIN, something you are currently creating.
The great thing about this situation is that in this very moment, they can no longer hurt you unless you are currently the victim. If you feel ashamed now, it is not the past situation that is making you feel ashamed. Instead, it is your CURRENT thinking about the past situation that makes you feel ashamed. In thinking about the past in this way, it gives them or the situation an astounding amount of power over you. By continuing the think about it, you are continuing to abuse yourself. Continuing to tear yourself down. They can no longer affect you unless you allow them to. Unfortunately, you may be causing yourself the pain by continuing to think about the situation.
The great news? While you can’t change your past, you CAN change how you think about the past and even change how you feel about it!!
Do you want to allow your past to define you? Of course not!
Here is something to try. Make a case that shows YOU had a wonderful life and then make a case to that shows YOU had a horrible life. Do this only about YOUR life. Both cases are in fact, YOUR stories yet look like two total different people. One focuses on the positives in your life while the other focuses on the negative. Every situation has a positive, every situation! How you chose and tell your story changes everything including your mind. If you chose to be a victim, that life was horrible and you are destined to live a certain life.. I assure you, you will prove yourself right. What we focus on, we create.
You may have been in some REALLY bad situations, which is very unfortunate. This doesn’t mean you are a victim, it just means that you are currently THINKING that way, maybe even subconsciously.
Maybe you feel that your life was REALLY bad and that someone shouldn’t ever say that YOU had a good life because of abuse, death or some other situation you were involved in. The way you look at your life is relative. Are you comparing yourself to someone else? Are you comparing yourself to someone who grew up in the “dream” situation or are you comparing yourself to someone who had it 10x worse than you did? This is really important to think about and walk yourself through. Often times, in coaching, I see others compare themselves to people that had a better life. Just a thought, if you compared yourself to someone that had it worse, would that change the way you think?
In looking around, most of us have had to deal with some sort of horrible situation from alcoholic parents, abuse, broken homes, abandonment, adoption, murder and plenty of other things. Its easy to get down on ourselves and to feel as if the situations define us, THEY DON'T. The good thing is we are still alive, we CAN chose RIGHT NOW to focus on good things in our lives and not finding ways to be a victim of our past.
The neat thing is we can take from the past what we want and leave the rest behind. It is your choice what you chose to take or leave.
REMEMBER THIS - The only way the past exists is within your mind.. you chose! Knowing this will/can set you free. The past is the past, make piece with it. Arguing with it doesn’t help because the past is always right. While you can't change your past, you can CHANGE the way you think about it and create A New Life Story!
For more information on Your New Life Story, click here.