One of my favorite quotes is “Be the man you want your daughter to marry” by Meg Meeker. I can’t tell you how much this quote means to me and I hope that you find it just as meaningful.
Be the man you want your daughter to marry!
Here is why:
As your daughter grows up, the first love she will experience is that of her father. This is not a creepy kind of love yet a love that shapes both her conscious and unconscious perception of what she expects from a man in a relationship. The odds are high that if a father shows his daughter love and affection, takes time out of his schedule to attend her events, treats her like the amazing creation she is.. she will look for that when she starts to date. On the flip side, if you don't have much interaction with your daughter, maybe you see her daughter every other weekend, you are, unfortunately making her question herself. She might even begin to feel that she is not good enough for her fathers love. Right or Wrong. When she begins to day, she will evaluate her partner. She will use you as the measuring stick, for better or worse.
So, I ask you.. what measuring stick are you setting? That you don’t have time for her or that every game and even practice is important enough for you to attend? When your daughter comes up to you, do you put the phone down or the book down and give her your uninterrupted attention? Do you show her love by hugging and kissing on her and telling her that she is beautiful and special? Do you tell he she can do anything she commits to and that even the sky is not her limit? OR, does your daughter see you argue or become angry? Whatever it is, you are setting the mold for her future.
I will tell you now, you ARE the most important man in your daughter’s life! Dad's will often point a finger at the boyfriend for breaking her heart not even realizing she was attracted to that boyfriend because of how her dad was to her growing up. Dad's are often the first person to break their daughters heart.
If she craves your attention and you don’t give it, there is a good possibility that as she gets older, she will try to get that attention from other men any way she can. It also sets of the risk that she will date someone who is absent in a subconscious attempt to fix her childhood wounds. This never goes well.
The hours and years you spend with or away from her change who she is, forever. Your daughter needs you to love her and adore her, she can’t feel good about herself until she knows you feel good about her. She wants you to be her hero because you are wiser, calmer and stronger than she is. You have the power to raise your daughter’s expectation of herself, how she dresses and talks, how well she does in school and even sports. Help her set the right goals.
Teach her humility, she needs the proper perspective of ourselves, the only way you can teach it though is by doing it. As the book Stronger Fathers, Stronger Daughters states, we need to teach our daughter the real world and by wanting our daughters to excel in everything they do like being prettier, smarter and better than everyone else, we actually confuse priorities.
If for nothing else… The man you see walking your daughter down the aisle will be a reflection of you, what do you want that reflection to be? Whatever reflection that is, you need to be that man… now!
I leave you with one last thing. One of my all time favorite books is “Strong Fathers – Strong Daughters” by Dr. Meg Meeker- pick one up for as little as 9 dollars … Click here