Nice Doesn't Finish Last!

We have all heard it and even possibly used it at some point in our life.  That excuse for why we didn’t get “the girl or the guy”.  Someone we really wanted, we were not able to get and therefore we need to find some level of logic behind it.

Here is the truth, NICE GUYS AND GIRLS do not finish last.  They don’t! and I am going to offer my thoughts on why.

  1. It is not that we finish last.  It is that we may want someone who is not at the same place in his or her life as we are.  This is more to do with maturity than age.  Some 20 year olds feel like old souls while some who are 50 still want to party like they are 21.  It will not work to expect them to come to where you are in life.  We can’t be rushed to change our place in life without our own internal permission.
  2. When you look back at those you felt didn’t like you because you were “too nice”, you most likely will recognize they are still trapped in their younger life. They may even now be considered “A Mess”. When someone does not want you because you are too nice, consider it a blessing and move on!
  3. Yes, there is truth in that people are not very attracted to those that allow others to walk on them yet at the same time being nice doesn’t mean they allow this.  Being nice means you are kind, respectful, thoughtful, considerate, a listener amongst other things. 
  4. Let’s be honest, “being too nice” is just a cop-out on their part!  Again, showing their maturity.  It’s more challenging to be honest so these individuals choose something simple to say.
  5. When mature people meet someone who is kind, respectful, thoughtful, considerate and is a listener… Amazing things can happen.  Traits like this are less wavering than looks. Yes, one must have physical attraction but mature people understand that it’s our traits that can increase or decrease attraction ten-fold.
  6. Nice guys/girls finish last is a victim mentality.  Instead of being a victim, take ownership.  If you continue to find the same situations where you are always the victim, dig deep to find where there is a disconnect.  If you keep meeting cars head on, you are most likely in the wrong lane.  It is time to switch lanes! 
  7. There is a difference in being invested, passionate, having a backbone, risk taking, fearing confrontation and being nice.  Being nice doesn’t equal any of that.  Now, one may be nice as well as all of those things however that’s not always the case and shouldn’t be considered  as such.  I know a lot of nice people who are highly passionate, stands their ground and takes risks. 

In the end.. I don’t know anyone who wants to date someone who isn’t nice.. Minus a group of people who feel they are undeserving of someone being nice.  That is a different story.  When you find that you are seeking people who are saying you are “too nice”.  It has nothing to do with you and everything to do with your selection tool.  Look at what you really want, not what you think you want or what others think you want. 

Mature people want you to be a nice person.  So BE NICE anyway!