Things that men wish women knew!

  1. Ultimatums do not work.
    • “DO THIS OR ELSE!” I understand what you are trying to do however men do not take well to demands by the use of force.  Try a different approach, please?
  2. He wants you to need him.
    • Men are fixers, we want to be MEN.  Women are becoming more independent, this is great yet men are still men who need to feel appreciated.  Let them help you.  Many men will deny this however we really do need affirmation from you.
  3. Don’t be his mother.
    • “YOU ARE NOT MY MOTHER!” Do you take care of him in ways like cleaning up after him, putting his dirty dishes in the sink or picking up his dirty clothes.  Maybe you give him crap and take over for something you feel he can’t do right.  You may end up pushing him away.  It presents itself as controlling by treating him as a child.  No adult wants to be treated like a child.
  4. We actually do have a “NOTHING” box.
    • We go to it as often as we can.  So the next time you ask him “What are you thinking about?” and he responds with “O..Nothing!”.  He is being honest.  It is our state of bliss, instead of digging deeper.. let him enjoy it.
  5. Be literal – to the point.
    • Men do not generally do well with “reading between the lines.”  It is a bit frustrating to deal with inferences which can lead to misunderstanding.  Especially if it is about your interest in us!  Try to avoid cryptic comments.  Instead, be more direct.  I promise, we will respect you more for it too.  
  6. Give him a second to adjust.
    • When he walks in the door, he will probably need a minute to get “adjusted.”  We know you want to talk about everything going on that day.  If you could, give him a minute to change out of his clothes and relax.  Then he is all yours!
  7. Let things go.
    • “Do we have to talk about this ….again?”  I mentioned picking battles the last blog post.  Once we resolve an issues or situation, we don’t want to rehash it every other day nor do we want it to be held against us forever.  Let’s move on and learn from it.
  8. You can’t change us.
    • As much as you may want to change us, we will not change that way.  Change comes from internal awareness, not from external pressures.  Love us for who we are not who you want /hope us to be.
  9. Men actually do have feelings.
    • I know what you are thinking “YEA RIGHT!”  Women want men to be as outwardly spoken about their feelings as they are.  Remember, you are not dating a woman.  While men do have strong emotions, men tend to focus more on getting things done where emotion, in the sense you are talking, isn't needed.  If he expresses his love to you and that he cares, that is huge.  If you have something you really want to know, be creative with your questioning, you can actually unlock his feelings…especially if he trusts you with them.
  10. Men are brutally honest.
    • “I’m just being honest!”  I personally use “Are you sure you want to know the answer to the question you just asked?”  Oftentimes people ask questions in which they don’t even want to know the actual answer.  As for being honest, think of it this way.  Would you rather him respond dishonestly?  Punishing him for being honest may develop pattern dishonesty from the fear of punishment.   We are actually being honest with you, that’s great…right? And of course, there is the loaded “unauthentic” questions you ask us which if we are honest about, will get us in trouble yet if we are dishonest, we can get into trouble with that too.. What a predicament we are put in.

Bonus Round

  1. If he is with you, he wants to BE with YOU, not your best friend, your neighbor.. YOU!
  2. He still wants to have guy time.
  3. He wants affection just as much as you do.
  4. Men do not like women who are " hard to get" .