10 Things To Do After A BreakUp

Let’s be honest…breakups are hard, even when you are the one that broke it off.  After all, a loss is still a loss even when it is for the better.  Not only are breakups hard, getting to that point can even be more difficult.  So when you decide enough is enough and you cut the relationship, what next?

  1. First and foremost.  There is NOTHING wrong with you, remind yourself of this.  We have had break ups and sometimes feel as if we are a failure because we can’t hold a relationship together.  The truth is, it’s quite the opposite.. When we break up with someone that is not good for us, we succeed!  Why?  Because we can’t get what we want by holding onto what we don’t want!
  2. Rejoice!  In times like this, it is easy to be sad.  Instead, remind yourself that you have removed someone that was unhealthy for you.  This takes confidence and boy do you have it! Rejoice in that you have broken the painful chains of that bad relationship that have held you down.
  3. Do not immediately go after another relationship.  The old saying “Nothing gets you over one like another” sounds worthwhile but usually ends up causing you to make more mistakes, doesn’t allow you to heal from the old relationship and potentially gets you right back into another bad situation.  Instead, give yourself time to heal.  We all want love, when we lose even bad love and companionship, it hurt.  Recognize that you left your partner because you deserve more and expect more, this is a time for learning and reflecting, not duplicating the steps that got you here.
  4. You have a switch, in one direction you have logic and the other you have emotion.  It is important to be as logical as you can about your breakup.   Maybe even write down the things in the relationship you will not tolerate that way when your begin to get more emotional, you have those powerful statements to remind yourself why you left the relationships.
  5. Learn what it takes to be happy alone.  More people are in relationships because they are afraid of being alone.  When this happens, we make poor decisions and settle with people we shouldn’t settle with.  Go eat on your own, you will find that you provide yourself with plenty of company and don't worry about what people think.  Take drives in the country alone, its refreshing and will allow you to clear your mind.  It is important to learn how to meet your own needs. 
  6. Be aware that all people men/woman are not like your ex.  If you still feel this way, do not move on to dating.  Instead, work though those feelings and rationalize them.
  7. Once you are ready to date again…I love saying this because of is power.  “Be the man you would want your daughter to marry” or “Be the woman you would want your son to marry”.  Pretty simple really.
  8. One of my favorite book titles to quote is “What we accept, we teach”.  Remember this!  You teach people how to treat you, you build the limits and expectations.  Make sure what you are accepting is what you want to teach.
  9. Trust your intuition – The power of the gut is great.  The answer your gut gives you can be overcome with time and thought. If something doesn’t feel right, move on, don't debate it.
  10. Only date people who are positive.  A quick check could be to ask someone about their ex.  Do they say negative things about them?  When talking about work, do they complain that things are not fair?  Do they make comments like they are unlucky?  If you see signs of a negative mindset, this is most likely not a good situation for you.  The same goes in reverse.  Positive people like Positive People and misery loves company!  
      Remember - your happiness should never be reduced at the expense of others.  Because those who want you around..want you happy...SO..Be HAPPY!